5:42pm. Half opened eyes I stumble into Terminal 1. Its only a short flight, yet want to sleep for its duration. J.S. Bach Harpsichord in C minor in sway with the J train. Suitcase in tow as a portrait of Hemingway stares down over the bronze bulldog that reminds me walking across the greens at Yale. Tension is felt due to what is about to be done by this talented group of cooks.. with addition of their exhaustion of the previous week a lot could go wrong at any point. Grabbing a strong cup of coffee, the work starts to pour on and I can tell this is going to be a long night. Its a feeling thats all to familiar. Its only been part of my being the last decade or so. 

The jobs have changed, the responsibilities altered, environments and any other element that comes with being in the kitchen this long. As of late, I have been in my head to much. This has led me to be in a constant state of self doubt. A faith in myself is no longer as strong, that of my younger years. Like being in a train in India, I’m lost, again. It drives me insane to not have control over this mental and even emotional state, as making a soufflé in a busy service can still cause stress with no way to control it’s rise other then having faith. It is rough on my mental to process this at times, and often I retreat to a darker space. I have been selfishly taking care of me for the moment, I'm not ashamed about it. I currently could not care less about my job nor truly challenged by it but this has given me time to think, even if I’m in kitchen seven days a week there isn't a strain on my brain. Quite possibly why I keep at it even with a slight disdain toward it… with gratitude I remind myself I could quit at any moment…

It has been recently brought to light that I need to let go of this state of doubt, and it couldn't be truer. I’ve been ready to unlock a new ‘level’ in life if you will..I have known this for quite some time, I felt I didn't have the strength to accept it . As one knows, once you hit a new level there are new objectives, priorities, challenges and responsibilities in a different areas of ones life.. professional and other. The time for myself is now and I know that more than anyone. I’ve been tired, physically and mentally but I've been using that as a crutch. I need to reinvent that wheel, starting by systematically dropping negative people and things out of my life that aren't on the same mental wave length as me and my environment or goals. Some may find this cold, I couldn't care. Ive been this way since a young age and am very good and putting up a wall and also putting on a front. This same concept goes for the food I cook people and the restaurants I work for, and with. If it isn't beneficial to me, the environment and attitude or aptitude isn't healthy, consider me out. I have started to align myself with people and events that are happy, pure, true and good. 

Im getting up on my own again. Im going to start cooking food that I want to make, again. To start cooking and working for people that appreciate me and my worth. I wont take ‘No’ for an answer and I will push myself onto this new plain of life. Like a fresh clean canvas. I know it will be difficult at times.. one looses hope often, yet for the first time in a long time I can stare at my own reflection and be less demeaning to myself. A sense of peace, dare I say happiness.

I have a ideas for the future with all the hopes, dreams and just a sprinkle of planning. Ready for my new level in life, every aspect of it. I’m on another flight tonight and have had a moment to reflect these past couple of hours.. It has been a busy past few months, well a busy past year.. the ‘hustle’ is all to real. Interviews, traveling for work while having a full time job, Tv sets, new jobs, chauffeurs, new consultations and convertibles. Its been such a whirlwind of so much good.. I hardly have had time to enjoy any of it. Grinding like mad and putting my best foot forward. Tomorrow will be an early morning back at work, with no real day off till who knows when. Menu planning, restaurant openings, pop up dinners, more flights, art shows and art production, another flight or two. I'm going to start enjoying it.  

Breathe, straighten out your mind and ‘Punch a higher floor!’

Comfort Food. Its a concept that you have seen anywhere and everywhere. The local fast food joint to that new casual fine dining restaurant, its a word that of late is very reoccurring. I like ‘comfort’ food as much as the next person. Yet, this popular concept of fake comfort and instant  gratification would I very much like to see die off sooner then later with focused emphasis to the finer or casual dining establishments. So far my experiences have shown me the interior decor of these new restaurants have better essence than the food. Im confused, even as what to wear to these types of establishments do I dress down.. or up, Ive seen people walk in with a Diane Von Furstenberg wrap, to a baseball jersey. This balance to me is off and makes it uncomfortable from start to finish. Having cloth towels in the lavatory one would assume that this space would have quite a capable staff, that is well trained and attentive yet.. often not. Just for that, I’m over it.

The food itself is called comfort yet its false advertising if you ask me, and its un-comforting in so many ways. The dish is to big or to small, the addition of useless sides and funky serving dishes are a huge take away from the entirety of the dining experience… oh and that tiny table its supposed to all fit on. What has been worrisome for me recently is that chefs and cooks at these type of comfort food “finer, casual, global, dining experiences” as they call themselves have become flat out lazy. Calling yourself chef yet using prepackaged crackers for a cheese plate or cheetos as an addition to a mac n cheese to me is first off disgraceful, and secondly just plain sad. Adding flaming hot cheetos on mac and cheese and putting it in a cute little cozuela dish is not ok no matter how you look at it.. This is primarily done to make an item sell like hot cakes to an undereducated group of so called ‘foodie’ individuals because that is the only ingredient that they instantly recognize on the menu… it makes them comfortable.

Often it just “came about” and there is a funny back story as to why they are doing that at so and so restaurant. But tell me, would you not be prouder and be more respected if you had made a ritz cracker from scratch and experimented with your pastry chef or promising line cook till you get it just right instead of buying a pack through your supplier. I understand that there is food cost and labor cost to consider yet I believe this cutting corners approach as of late has really just dumbed down the talent in most kitchens, especially for the students and trainees fresh into this industry. You paid for an education, yet realize you now just work with house hold ingredients and don't even transform or manipulate those ingredients into something else, I would be uncomfortable knowing this before I ever payed a dime for schooling. Knowing you could have just watched IHarts food channel on youtube and hoped for the best. 

Service of food such as this is instantly less cared for, one can quickly tell in many of these type of establishments. Lack of carefully thought out and executed food, equals to less care for the customer in my experience thus far. If you can’t make it nice, or take pride in the food you make or serve.. why even show up to work. It works against the human grain.

This conception of comfort food came about of numerous factors. Forestalling the monetary flow of any establishment is at large part to blame, yet understandable as everything becomes more and more expensive and harder to make a profit of. A couple years back Southern cooking and Farm to Table where all the rage and since that has been on a decline.. a mesh or fusion has been made which puts us here at “Comfort Food”. If any or you remember the mid 2000s fusion was a huge thing.. even my own father who couldn't cook to safe his life called that a total “Confusion” and he was spot on! These trends never last, we know this but it is a concern to me because currently there is a huge lack of talent and the new work force can not attain the proper training to better themselves and aren't at times even willing to put in the time to learn and create, I’ve written about this before in previous posts on ÔRKiD..

Comfort should be part of every dining experience, wether that be high end dining or fast food. This is controlled primarily by front of house or know as ‘service’ at any establishment and this in turn reflects directly on the food being served. We all have our own opinions on food, our personal taste represents truest to what we would like to eat, some people don't like fine dining ( primarily in Northern America) or don't enjoy it which is perfectly fine.. in large that stems to where one grew up and what type of food you grew up with.. in short, whatever make oneself comfortable. Yet with so many dining options in todays world it comes down to the lack of education and knowledge starting from the cook all the way to the diner that is paying for the food. With the lack of food knowledge and huge material, social or financial interests this millennial generation has and the addition of the picky eaters, the vegan, the gluten free dieters, and the trendiest ‘it’ space of the week or month to dine at makes for a very stressful and, not at all comfortable environment.

Because of the knowledge gap and the very often large price tag that comes along with fine dining experiences we can agree that it can be uncomfortable for some of us 99% just hustling to make ends meet monthly. Yet, there isn't a need to shred it to pieces and make this concept of comfort food that lacks any depth and thought the better alternative. Maybe save up and enjoy a good meal once in a while and learn to cook at home again. There are some amazing food delivery companies out there that have solid and easy to make recipes at home that are often cheaper and better then that new comfort joint down the street. Todays youth not knowing how to properly cook anymore is saddening and this ‘ comfort food concept’ have been feeding right into it. From a business standpoint it is genius I can’t deny that. But comfort can easily be achieved if the right effort is put into place wether that is training the cooks and waitstaff better, or becoming more engaged with local clientele whatever comes to mind even as you read this is probably a step into a better scenario then where we are currently at. Its honestly not that hard, I want people to care again or care in general when it comes to service, after all.. that is the industry we are in. 

If money you say is the issue yet you pay 12$ for a cocktail and 19$ for a small plate that the waitstaff told you could easily be shared, yet can’t. This isn't comfortable for any of us, its annoying. Going out to eat has become ever more pricey the past decade. Yet, the quality of food, the relaxed service with an attitude that demands a higher and higher tip average per week needs to be brought to an end. Explain to me how my bill was worth this ‘comfort food’ with its half-assed thought out food and horrible snooty service is worth even two minutes of social media self gratification. Its not. I know because I've been in this social experiment to long. Point is, if you want comfort food your best bet is to support those local, often family run establishments that have been around for years. I swear they are just so good at what they do, they still care, and often it doesn't break the bank. Try that next time rather then this new spot where you’re in button down shirt yet the dessert needs an explanation but tastes shittier than a stale Twix bar from the nearest gas station.

Realizing that some will disagree with me on this subject matter, I want to let you know I'm always open to change for betterment of the food service industry, yet this wave of badly prepared, lazy, set back approach to food needs to go. I for one can’t wait for it to be over and done with. Food and dining is about memories on so many different levels, its the memory of past, such as eating something that reminds oneself of their grandmothers cooking or having a glass of wine that originated from a country you grew up in as a child. Its memory made in the present and wishes of ones for the future. But please lets all agree that Cheetos, atrociously large milkshakes that could feed four adults and using bologna like its cool is a step to far. If that is what I want as “comfort food” I’ll gladly stay home, burn my culinary arts degree while stuffing my face with Ben & Jerrys while watching Roseanne...

Because thats truly comfortable.

Speeding down a dirt road through the vineyards in a little 1982 baby blue golf. Passing row upon row of budding rose bushes that line the end of each trellis. Sun in my face and the ocean wind whipping through my hair, I’m content, I’m headed home.. to the beach. This morning at work was exhausting, with breakfast service, lunch… and room service. The kiosk needed restocking. This I enjoy, and the pastry chef has finally let me take some responsibility in that I can lay out all of her chocolates and daintily arrange the freshly baked breads and croissants. Aah the smell and feel of a perfectly warm just baked croissant, If you don't know as to what I'm speaking of, please do yourself a favor. 

Setting up the poissonier station for lunch service, checking then double checking each ingredient. I will admit that this station still makes me a bit jumpy. The temperature of the pan the oils or butter you add and when to add them. The way you place the fish into each pan and discovering the ‘hot-spots’ in each oven. Its very exciting and I'm a bit obsessed with getting a perfect skin on each trout. This in full disclosure, had gotten me into some trouble because I may or may not have slowed the kitchen down with my infatuation. The chef is German, and clearly not impressed. 

Nearing the end of this service we pack away what isn't needed for dinner service and quickly reset the kitchen so that we can start to prep for a wedding that is scheduled for tomorrow. Hotel trays and plate trolleys are pulled out and set up. Everywhere you look cooks are buzzing around, a new shift of cooks and chefs have arrived to prep for this evenings dinner service. Cucumbers are diced in perfect little squares, fennel is sliced paper thin on a mandoline. A chef comes to ask my assistance for what looks like at least 15 carré d’agneau, using a small knife she shows me how to “french” each bone. This is a very enjoyable new task, each rack needs to look identical to the next. Yet, some have the bones tightly lined up and others more freely, and other have more fat then the next … small things like this intrigue me. Lamb from the Karoo is delicious they feed off of bossies, herbs, and rivierganna which in a sense is like a edible spice market in the dry african terrain making the flavor of the meat distinctly herbaceous. 

I pack up my knife bag and head outside into what has turned out to be a bloody hot late afternoon.
Making my way over to the chef who'd just shown me my way around a lamb rack, she asks for a cigarette, we smoke in silence on a little wall that has the largest view of the Stellenbosch valleys. Saying that we should meet up for drinks tonight, she rushes back into the kitchen to finish her setup before dinner starts. 

I have been working at a small boutique hotel in the middle of the South African winelands. There is so much I learn each day, the kitchen alone has a separate cooled room just for butchering and a complete area just for pastry… nothing like I’d ever seen before. The views of the grounds are incomparable to any view from a basement kitchen in New York. Ive been hopping from station to station, scolded at almost daily but not dishearten even a little. 

There are a couple cooks that I am comfortable enough to ask a question or two from. I’m growing, something new each day. This is where my trainee days where. Surrounded by good wine and food, african sun in my face, strolling on a little trail.. pigments of red dirt on my bare feet as I head toward the nearing the beach sands. Antarctica is closer then a passport said I came from, but here is where my heart will forever stay. My childhood was here, my love for food blossomed here. My mind is at peace here.  

Food. Beach. Mountain. Wine