5:42pm. Half opened eyes I stumble into Terminal 1. Its only a short flight, yet want to sleep for its duration. J.S. Bach Harpsichord in C minor in sway with the J train. Suitcase in tow as a portrait of Hemingway stares down over the bronze bulldog that reminds me walking across the greens at Yale. Tension is felt due to what is about to be done by this talented group of cooks.. with addition of their exhaustion of the previous week a lot could go wrong at any point. Grabbing a strong cup of coffee, the work starts to pour on and I can tell this is going to be a long night. Its a feeling thats all to familiar. Its only been part of my being the last decade or so. 

The jobs have changed, the responsibilities altered, environments and any other element that comes with being in the kitchen this long. As of late, I have been in my head to much. This has led me to be in a constant state of self doubt. A faith in myself is no longer as strong, that of my younger years. Like being in a train in India, I’m lost, again. It drives me insane to not have control over this mental and even emotional state, as making a soufflé in a busy service can still cause stress with no way to control it’s rise other then having faith. It is rough on my mental to process this at times, and often I retreat to a darker space. I have been selfishly taking care of me for the moment, I'm not ashamed about it. I currently could not care less about my job nor truly challenged by it but this has given me time to think, even if I’m in kitchen seven days a week there isn't a strain on my brain. Quite possibly why I keep at it even with a slight disdain toward it… with gratitude I remind myself I could quit at any moment…

It has been recently brought to light that I need to let go of this state of doubt, and it couldn't be truer. I’ve been ready to unlock a new ‘level’ in life if you will..I have known this for quite some time, I felt I didn't have the strength to accept it . As one knows, once you hit a new level there are new objectives, priorities, challenges and responsibilities in a different areas of ones life.. professional and other. The time for myself is now and I know that more than anyone. I’ve been tired, physically and mentally but I've been using that as a crutch. I need to reinvent that wheel, starting by systematically dropping negative people and things out of my life that aren't on the same mental wave length as me and my environment or goals. Some may find this cold, I couldn't care. Ive been this way since a young age and am very good and putting up a wall and also putting on a front. This same concept goes for the food I cook people and the restaurants I work for, and with. If it isn't beneficial to me, the environment and attitude or aptitude isn't healthy, consider me out. I have started to align myself with people and events that are happy, pure, true and good. 

Im getting up on my own again. Im going to start cooking food that I want to make, again. To start cooking and working for people that appreciate me and my worth. I wont take ‘No’ for an answer and I will push myself onto this new plain of life. Like a fresh clean canvas. I know it will be difficult at times.. one looses hope often, yet for the first time in a long time I can stare at my own reflection and be less demeaning to myself. A sense of peace, dare I say happiness.

I have a ideas for the future with all the hopes, dreams and just a sprinkle of planning. Ready for my new level in life, every aspect of it. I’m on another flight tonight and have had a moment to reflect these past couple of hours.. It has been a busy past few months, well a busy past year.. the ‘hustle’ is all to real. Interviews, traveling for work while having a full time job, Tv sets, new jobs, chauffeurs, new consultations and convertibles. Its been such a whirlwind of so much good.. I hardly have had time to enjoy any of it. Grinding like mad and putting my best foot forward. Tomorrow will be an early morning back at work, with no real day off till who knows when. Menu planning, restaurant openings, pop up dinners, more flights, art shows and art production, another flight or two. I'm going to start enjoying it.  

Breathe, straighten out your mind and ‘Punch a higher floor!’

Comfort Food. Its a concept that you have seen anywhere and everywhere. The local fast food joint to that new casual fine dining restaurant, its a word that of late is very reoccurring. I like ‘comfort’ food as much as the next person. Yet, this popular concept of fake comfort and instant  gratification would I very much like to see die off sooner then later with focused emphasis to the finer or casual dining establishments. So far my experiences have shown me the interior decor of these new restaurants have better essence than the food. Im confused, even as what to wear to these types of establishments do I dress down.. or up, Ive seen people walk in with a Diane Von Furstenberg wrap, to a baseball jersey. This balance to me is off and makes it uncomfortable from start to finish. Having cloth towels in the lavatory one would assume that this space would have quite a capable staff, that is well trained and attentive yet.. often not. Just for that, I’m over it.

The food itself is called comfort yet its false advertising if you ask me, and its un-comforting in so many ways. The dish is to big or to small, the addition of useless sides and funky serving dishes are a huge take away from the entirety of the dining experience… oh and that tiny table its supposed to all fit on. What has been worrisome for me recently is that chefs and cooks at these type of comfort food “finer, casual, global, dining experiences” as they call themselves have become flat out lazy. Calling yourself chef yet using prepackaged crackers for a cheese plate or cheetos as an addition to a mac n cheese to me is first off disgraceful, and secondly just plain sad. Adding flaming hot cheetos on mac and cheese and putting it in a cute little cozuela dish is not ok no matter how you look at it.. This is primarily done to make an item sell like hot cakes to an undereducated group of so called ‘foodie’ individuals because that is the only ingredient that they instantly recognize on the menu… it makes them comfortable.

Often it just “came about” and there is a funny back story as to why they are doing that at so and so restaurant. But tell me, would you not be prouder and be more respected if you had made a ritz cracker from scratch and experimented with your pastry chef or promising line cook till you get it just right instead of buying a pack through your supplier. I understand that there is food cost and labor cost to consider yet I believe this cutting corners approach as of late has really just dumbed down the talent in most kitchens, especially for the students and trainees fresh into this industry. You paid for an education, yet realize you now just work with house hold ingredients and don't even transform or manipulate those ingredients into something else, I would be uncomfortable knowing this before I ever payed a dime for schooling. Knowing you could have just watched IHarts food channel on youtube and hoped for the best. 

Service of food such as this is instantly less cared for, one can quickly tell in many of these type of establishments. Lack of carefully thought out and executed food, equals to less care for the customer in my experience thus far. If you can’t make it nice, or take pride in the food you make or serve.. why even show up to work. It works against the human grain.

This conception of comfort food came about of numerous factors. Forestalling the monetary flow of any establishment is at large part to blame, yet understandable as everything becomes more and more expensive and harder to make a profit of. A couple years back Southern cooking and Farm to Table where all the rage and since that has been on a decline.. a mesh or fusion has been made which puts us here at “Comfort Food”. If any or you remember the mid 2000s fusion was a huge thing.. even my own father who couldn't cook to safe his life called that a total “Confusion” and he was spot on! These trends never last, we know this but it is a concern to me because currently there is a huge lack of talent and the new work force can not attain the proper training to better themselves and aren't at times even willing to put in the time to learn and create, I’ve written about this before in previous posts on ÔRKiD..

Comfort should be part of every dining experience, wether that be high end dining or fast food. This is controlled primarily by front of house or know as ‘service’ at any establishment and this in turn reflects directly on the food being served. We all have our own opinions on food, our personal taste represents truest to what we would like to eat, some people don't like fine dining ( primarily in Northern America) or don't enjoy it which is perfectly fine.. in large that stems to where one grew up and what type of food you grew up with.. in short, whatever make oneself comfortable. Yet with so many dining options in todays world it comes down to the lack of education and knowledge starting from the cook all the way to the diner that is paying for the food. With the lack of food knowledge and huge material, social or financial interests this millennial generation has and the addition of the picky eaters, the vegan, the gluten free dieters, and the trendiest ‘it’ space of the week or month to dine at makes for a very stressful and, not at all comfortable environment.

Because of the knowledge gap and the very often large price tag that comes along with fine dining experiences we can agree that it can be uncomfortable for some of us 99% just hustling to make ends meet monthly. Yet, there isn't a need to shred it to pieces and make this concept of comfort food that lacks any depth and thought the better alternative. Maybe save up and enjoy a good meal once in a while and learn to cook at home again. There are some amazing food delivery companies out there that have solid and easy to make recipes at home that are often cheaper and better then that new comfort joint down the street. Todays youth not knowing how to properly cook anymore is saddening and this ‘ comfort food concept’ have been feeding right into it. From a business standpoint it is genius I can’t deny that. But comfort can easily be achieved if the right effort is put into place wether that is training the cooks and waitstaff better, or becoming more engaged with local clientele whatever comes to mind even as you read this is probably a step into a better scenario then where we are currently at. Its honestly not that hard, I want people to care again or care in general when it comes to service, after all.. that is the industry we are in. 

If money you say is the issue yet you pay 12$ for a cocktail and 19$ for a small plate that the waitstaff told you could easily be shared, yet can’t. This isn't comfortable for any of us, its annoying. Going out to eat has become ever more pricey the past decade. Yet, the quality of food, the relaxed service with an attitude that demands a higher and higher tip average per week needs to be brought to an end. Explain to me how my bill was worth this ‘comfort food’ with its half-assed thought out food and horrible snooty service is worth even two minutes of social media self gratification. Its not. I know because I've been in this social experiment to long. Point is, if you want comfort food your best bet is to support those local, often family run establishments that have been around for years. I swear they are just so good at what they do, they still care, and often it doesn't break the bank. Try that next time rather then this new spot where you’re in button down shirt yet the dessert needs an explanation but tastes shittier than a stale Twix bar from the nearest gas station.

Realizing that some will disagree with me on this subject matter, I want to let you know I'm always open to change for betterment of the food service industry, yet this wave of badly prepared, lazy, set back approach to food needs to go. I for one can’t wait for it to be over and done with. Food and dining is about memories on so many different levels, its the memory of past, such as eating something that reminds oneself of their grandmothers cooking or having a glass of wine that originated from a country you grew up in as a child. Its memory made in the present and wishes of ones for the future. But please lets all agree that Cheetos, atrociously large milkshakes that could feed four adults and using bologna like its cool is a step to far. If that is what I want as “comfort food” I’ll gladly stay home, burn my culinary arts degree while stuffing my face with Ben & Jerrys while watching Roseanne...

Because thats truly comfortable.

The way I was brought up or trained so to speak in restaurants was in a very “classique cuisine” setting. I wouldn't trade it for the world and never have nor will take it for granted. Especially now seeing the green pea shoots that they are churning out if culinary establishments. From the start of French cuisine and a big help from Escoffiers brigade system, this is how in principle all kitchens still function and work to this day. It has so many positives, The structure, the appearance, Its power to have or rather produce a respect and pride in what you do and whom you do it with. The foundations and philosophies of the brigades system are, I find the pinnacle to communication, respect, and in essence curates a team spirit effort while one works in kitchens. Even with all these pros there is the fact that it is an old school system and with the change in social culture.. even kitchen culture it may be time to look at revising it a bit. For example not all restaurants have their own pastry chefs anymore, or the person plating your appetizer is also responsible for your dessert plating during a dinner service.

This has become quite a norm, and that leaves to question what are the more sought after positions on that hierarchy ladder? I find it has broken down the communication, and certain respect for these now open ended positions and no one is taking full responsibility when something goes awry. This also has led to a lot of these younger generation cooks moving up the ladder way quicker then I have ever witnessed in this past decade alone. That and the knowledge of shortage of cooks at high end restaurants concerns me.. because how good or consistent is the food actually when the sous-chef is just two years out of culinary school. They run up the ladder with no proper training and don't have a solid foundation nor structure in what they cook, how they cook it.. or even what they like to cook having no repertoire of their own.  Now I'm not saying that sous is not talented, but I'm not concerned about talent I'm concerned about the knowledge that this person carries around with him or herself in the knife bag. In full honesty these new kids on the block have it a lot lot better then I did or the generations before us. It is way easier to find employment at restaurants of high caliber then it ever used to be, back in the day you had to fight to get even a good placement to stage or train if you had the privilege of attending a culinary school. Now you can just sign up by email. I would love to hear a story of a millennial that went to Hyde Park with daddies money and knock on a back door of a michelin starred restaurant for a week straight just to get some face time.

I’ll Wait.
If you’re out there... I owe you a glass of wine and please send me you resumé. 

Yes, I will admit the classic setting of a kitchen is harsh and the systems that are so stone solid do come with a heavy dark cloud. There are chefs out there that have exploited the system mostly stemming from their own ego and even lack of confidence. These places can be very hard to work at even if you are just planning to be there for a short while to bump up your resume.. I understand. The old school ways of the kitchen are in so many ways even with all the good that comes from it, a very damaged, beat up arrangement. There is a lot of “head down” no one can say a word. You're a number on the wall, manipulation, overworking, The ‘who ever can get ahead of the other’ backstabbing. Yes competition is good, and yes absolutely 'keep your head down' for a couple years first to learn and find respect for what you do... or as I'd like to say "pay your dues!"... but not when it is unhealthy to the establishment or even its employees. This often makes the individuals in these work environments become prone to find the nearest bottle or pill they can get their hands on just to make the long hours bearable, let alone the demeaning yells. Life for quite some time in kitchens the last three decade or so have not been all to healthy. It has led to a lot of unspoken mental illness in the industry that we have been almost trained to not acknowledge.

Problems as such have had and will keep having a huge toll on the industry and we need to have a conversation about this. Some very strong people have come to the forefront such as Kat Kinsman, Daniel Patterson, even Anthony Bourdain and it heartens me that they have opened up and started a real dialogue on the subject. For some, myself included just getting the basic health care for us is often financially impossible. I still scrape up the random cents to go to therapy at least once a month, I have no shame in telling you, that yes I go to a shrink. Yes I was also very embarrassed about it at first never having told anyone that I go, but in more ways than one I have realized it has helped me immensely. Weakness in any form for the longest time in this industry has been very unpopular. I believe that this stems directly from the old fashioned ways that the kitchens have been run.

Yet the complaining and whining that tarnishes even the good part of this old system need to stop, If you can not bring a solution to the table even in the smallest of ways then please reconsider being such a strong opponent to this system that has done a lot of good, even for you that young cook complaining about it as you manicure your drink after service at the nearest hole in the wall adjacent to your job. If it wasn't for this system and these amazing chefs that came before you, that are at large responsible to paving the way...for you to call this a respectable career choice. Think about that and find some respect for it before you bash it harder then a veal schnitzel. We need to come together and hear each other out, respecting what other individuals have as opinions and thoughts on this matter. I too believe that there should be better pay and even benefits, maybe even all around better working environments. There are a few establishments out there the do this well but all in all, its rare. So lets be kind to one another especially starting in the kitchens, ask your colleagues from time to time on how they are doing.. theres no shame in that. There are more of you ‘crazies’ out there then you can imagine as we all know the kitchen is on of the last places in todays society where this ‘misfit’ culture is still embraced. That is one thing I pray doesn't get lost..the creativity and the wild characters that this profession procures. So don't denounce and shy away from the subject. Learn and educate yourself in this field and be open to speak about it even if it is difficult.

Lets Help Each Other, Unite, Lets Care. 

The hurried matters of each day these passed few months seemed to be getting to both of us. Its close to 4am as we sit and sip in silence, wooden poetry with a misbalance of communicative strumming of strings playing from the restaurants speakers. We sit staring out the window on lightweight curved bar stools watching as snow flakes gently drop on the city streets. A lot has happened in these past few years that I’ve stood next to this Chef. I remember the first time I met him. 21 years old and just freshly moved to Brooklyn, New York. Looking for a job, a friend of mine told me to stop by this establishment, so with resumé in hand I went.. ready to meet for an interview. I was however confronted with a sharp stare over the brim of the Chef’s glasses as he poured two coupes of champagne. While handing me a glass his pensive look uninterrupted, nodding. He told me to be here Monday at 11am. He hardly even glanced at my resumé. 

This is who he is, this is also how he cooks. I have learned so much from this man, no it wasn't easy... he was tough to work with, let alone work for. We disagreed on a lot and really could get at each others necks from time to time.. but as much as we did in equal parts there was always a doubling amount of items we could agree on strongly, together. I realized that I was in many ways so similar to him, which is why I worked well with him. Yet, with our stubbornness this could also be chaotic. I respect him. To this day he has been one of the most exhilarating Chefs I've ever worked for, there was never a boring day trust me. He took risks and was spontaneous, yet having a unwavering view of staying in his comfort lane if you will, especially when it came to cooking food. A lot of the young cooks that come into the industry won’t find this the most exciting place to work.. in many ways I can understand that. Yet, what is missing from todays kitchens are people or kids if you ask me not having, wanting, nor even knowing what a solid foundational training in this field is. This Chef, this restaurant forged mine and I will be forever grateful to him and all the colleagues there that pushed me. 

It drives me nuts that my millennial generation can’t just stick to something and come through. As positive as it all is, the newest food trend, the coolest place to dine or work at, that doughnut, this broth, those bagels, that cocktail. Everything comes and goes so quickly. Now try and find me a cook that can make a perfectly smooth cucumber and dill sauce that will stay vibrant green for the duration of a dinner service. No you don't get to use acid nor additives. 

I don’t want to sound offish or over confident to any young fresh cooks trying to make it in this field, we know there is a shortage good cooks. But, some of you will need more training and experience to become good cook, if not better cooks and chef.. myself included. So yes, take this advice from me when I say ‘keep your head down’ and ‘don’t get cocky’. Find respect for whom you work for and they will show you true pride in cooking. Once that has been established you will have a better foundation and you can start curating your own palate and view of food, if not kitchen life itself. For me that was this fervid and igneous Chef, the one sitting next to me murmuring along to Lou Reed sipping Louis Roederer both of us pretending we are on a warm tropical island. 

Danke